


A Mother's Heart

by ItS_COol_GuY



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Grief/Mourning, Holt Family, One Shot, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 06:58:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11076387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItS_COol_GuY/pseuds/ItS_COol_GuY
Summary: It’s true what they say, you know. The moment a child is born and a mother first stares into her son’s large brown eyes, the same as hers, her heart is no longer her own.“The Galaxy Garrison mission to the distant moon of Kerberos is missing, and all crew members are believed to be dead. The Galaxy Garrison has said the crash was presumably caused by pilot error.”The TV rambled on, but the words became a soundtrack of meaningless noise to Colleen Holt as the world collapsed beneath her feet.Kerberos? All crew members dead?





	A Mother's Heart

**Author's Note:**

> So this was a part I wrote and was going to include in the next chapter of the fic I'm writing, but then I realized it doesn't really add to the story, so I decided not to include it. But I also didn't want to just delete it soooo I'm publishing it anyways. Woo, thanks!

It’s true what they say, you know. The moment a child is born and a mother first stares into her son’s large brown eyes, the same as hers, her heart is no longer her own.

 

_“The Galaxy Garrison mission to the distant moon of Kerberos is missing, and all crew members are believed to be dead. The Galaxy Garrison has said the crash was presumably caused by pilot error.”_

The TV rambled on, but the words became a soundtrack of meaningless noise to Colleen Holt as the world collapsed beneath her feet. 

Kerberos? All crew members dead? 

Her breathing hitched as the television screen displayed the smiling faces of her husband. Her son. The ocean roared in her ears, blocking out the garbled speech of the cheery news anchor. 

_Dead?_

Colleen was pulled from her stupor by loud and rapid footfalls on the stairs behind her, and all at once the force of the news overwhelmed her, a riptide that dragged her under. She was struggling to break to the surface, gasping for air and heart tearing in two. 

Matt, Sam, _Dead._

She stifled a sob and turned. Katie. Katie needed her. God, how she wished she could have protected Katie from this. This isn’t the way to find out. Colleen pulled what she could of herself together and followed after her daughter. Pushing into the room she found Katie, face buried in a pillow, hands wrapped around her brother’s spare glasses, wailing sobs wracking her petite body. Colleen stared at the last remaining piece of her family and quickly made her way to the bed.

She embraced Katie, for all it was worth, and held onto her for dear life. Everything now lay concisely in the writhing sobbing child in her arms. Katie was too young to lose her father. Too young to lose her best friend. Colleen did her best to provide comfort, but soon they both fell apart. Consumed by the gnashing teeth of grief. 

Time freezes and the two stayed like that, mourning and keening late into the night, until sleep overcomes them and they lay in a huddled mess on Katie’s small twin sized mattress. 

But life can’t stay frozen forever. The Garrison contacts them in the morning, and the family holds a funeral. The remaining Holts kneel and bid their goodbyes to empty caskets. 

“The Holts are strong,” Colleen assures relatives and friends, “You don’t need to worry about us.” But there are no smiles behind their veneers, no more sparkle in their eyes.

Each night Colleen crawls into Katie’s bed and the two do their best to hold each other together as if tight embraces could secure the tiny pieces of their shattered hearts from drifting away and disappearing along with their family.

It’s only been a couple of days, but the pain flows more than it ebbs. 

Colleen sighs and pulls herself together before rapping on Katie’s door and peaking in. Surprisingly, the bed is empty.

“Katie?” 

Her daughter sits at her desktop computer. Fingers rapidly pounding the keys as coding Colleen couldn't begin to understand flies over the monitor. “What are you doing?”

Katie turns to look at her mom, only briefly, and her face reflects an unexpected fire.

“Mom. I-I am gong to tell you something and I really need you to listen to the whole thing. I know it’s going to sound crazy, I really do, so I need you to just listen.”

Colleen takes a seat next to Katie silently, nodding for her to continue.

“So, the trip to Kerberos… The crash happened because of ‘pilot error’ right?” Katie’s eyes are once again glued to the computer as she continues her assault on the keys, “Well, I started thinking about Matt, and how he knew the guy piloting their ship. You and I _both_ heard the way he talked about him. Shiro. Matt bragged like they had God him-fucking-self piloting that ship, and I couldn’t wrap my head around how someone _so good_ at flying could crash under standard conditions.”

Words were spilling from Katie’s mouth rapid pace, and Colleen struggled to decipher where the conversation was going.

“So I started doing some digging. I hacked the mainframe at the Galaxy Garrison today and looked through their files on the Kerberos mission. I saw drone footage and read some of the reports.” Katie pauses her typing to look at Colleen, there’s a fury burning bright in her amber eyes as she continues.

“Tell me mom, if the flight crashed because of pilot error, why was there no sign of a crash whatsoever? No only that, how did Matt and dad find the time to set up the ice extractor and pull a sample _after_ their ship crashed?” Katie turns back to the computer and slams a flash drive into its slot. With a few clicks, a photo of Kerberos is brought up. Zooming in, an ice extractor, clear as day, can be seen abandoned on its side, and Colleen’s pulse starts to quicken. There’s a few more clicks and Katie had a picture of a completely intact Garrison ship. “They lied. I know it sounds crazy, but they’re hiding something, and I’m going to figure out what it is. Dad and Matt are still out there, mom, and I’m not giving up until I find them!”

They both look at each other, Colleen speechless and Katie out of breath. Colleen is bearing an expression of shocked awe, and, from what Colleen can see, Katie’s expression screams, “I don't care what you say, I’m doing it anyways.” 

Colleen knew this look, she herself used to get it when she was Katie’s age. 

She smiles. 

Matt always took after her husband, sweet and goofy and all too concerned with making others happy. Katie, on the other hand, took after Colleen. Adventurous and headstrong, there was no way she could hope to stop whatever Katie was planning. And, frankly, she wasn't sure she wanted to. Her family is smart, the evidence was strong, and if Katie thought something was there, well, then there probably was.

 

“How can I help?”

 

———

Colleen was drafted into getting Katie, no, Pidge Gunderson ready for school. _Pidge_ enrolled her-himself by hacking into the Garrison a second time. Colleen took in a few of Matt’s old uniforms, and searched through storage for clothes that might fit Pidge. Colleen didn’t cry as she packed Matt’s old clothing into a suitcase, and she also didn’t cry and she prepared to send her only remaining family member to the place that took her son and husband.

She did cry, however, when she saw Katie step out of the bathroom donning her newly cut hair.

“I look just like him, mom.” Katie’s cheeks were slick with tears and she hiccuped into her arm.

Colleen knelt in-front of her daughter, and used the pads of her thumbs to wipe the tears away. 

“They would be _so_ proud of you Katie. You’re incredibly brave and incredibly smart, and I can’t wait to tell them how amazing you were once everyone is back home.” 

They’re both crying now as Mrs. Holt places Matt’s spare glasses on _Pidge’s_ nose. She replaced the prescription with plain glass so her daughter could keep this memento with her. 

She smiled. “I love you. I will always love you. And I am _so_ proud of the amazing person you’ve become.”

With that, she stood back and watched Pidge Gunderson make his way to a taxi out front. 

 

It’s true what they say, you know. The moment a child is born and a mother first stares into her daughter’s large brown eyes, the same as hers, her heart is no longer her own. And in that moment, Colleen Holt waved as the second half of her heart drove off. Hand resting on the empty chasm in her chest, she smiled. Call it a mother’s intuition, but she was sure she’d have her family back again. She _knew_ it.


End file.
